Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Well, after last weeks bombshell, everything appears to have ground to a super frustrating halt. Apparently, the next stage is a biopsy, so that the Haematology team can better understand the lymphoma (aka bastard cancer). They need to dot every i, cross every t, and identify exactly what it is.  How fast is it growing? Is it exactly the same version as last time?

According to the PET/CT scan, the lymphoma is currently showing in four places (which in theory is ‘good news’ in that it's fewer than the 7 places it was first time round!).  It's in both kidney’s, in the nerve at my L5 vertebrae and most weirdly, in my left buttock.  Yes, that really did say my left buttock.  Only I could get cancer of the arse.  I’ll just leave that one with you for a minute...

Anyhoo, given that the biopsy will be performed on the one showing in my butt, I suspect the whole process will be excruciatingly embarrassing and therefore highly entertaining.  I might even ask them if they can make any improvements while they’re there - a little lift maybe? 

The worst thing at the moment, aside from the fact that it's back, is the waiting - knowing it's growing inside me, every second, of every minute, of every hour … you get the picture.  Without being over dramatic, it feels like someone who wants to kill me is living inside me.  Think about every thriller/horror you’ve ever watched and how nervous you’ve felt when you realise the killer is already inside the house.  Now translate that to a vicious bastard being inside your body.  That’s where those of us with cancer are.

In the meantime, a variety - or should I say varietal? - of wines are helping me cope with the waiting.  A juicy Argentinian Malbec and a crisp NZ Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc are proving particularly reliable ;-) Once the treatment kicks in, they’ll be a thing of the past, so I’m enjoying them while I can.