Chemo, commodes and face plants ...

Because some cretinous visitor who'd recently been sick decided to visit someone on my ward last week the ward has been on virtual lock down.  Cos, you'd do that wouldn't you.  You'd have that conversation with yourself "Oh I know, I threw up yesterday, I'll just pop down to see Mildred and see how she is in that place full of poorly people with low resistance"  IDIOT!!!!

Anyway, this all meant that my scheduled Chemo had to be fiddled about with so to speak.  They couldn't remove me from my room because although i was 'clean' and 'safe' thanks to some awesome barrier nursing (there were nearly fights, let me tell you!) from my amazing nurses, the Chemo team understandably were nervous about taking their equipment onto an infected ward.

Now I was nervous anyway, which meant I woke at 4.30 in the AM.  Which meant I had to wait all day for it.  Which meant I got bored.  Which meant I got myself in trouble.  I am now officially red carded :-(

Those of a delicate disposition should move to the next entry now.  So, I need the loo.  Not unusual - in fact something that's celebrated in hospital with a gold star! Ooo, well done you!

Once enthroned, with help, I decided that I could probably manage more myself than I had to date - surely a little lean forward for an extra super sparkling wipe couldn't be that dangerous?  Oops - I forgot I have no centre of gravity awareness anymore, so a little lean forward ended up being a full face plant body length across my room.

Cue the apologetic "Nurse, Oh Nurse" calls and sulking when discovered, face down, arse up in air.  Not my finest moment.  Also not well received when Sister says "Oh dear, now what have we got ourselves into here then my lovely"?  Well, it's pretty bloody obvious isn't it love!!!

Just get me off the fucking floor please.  So, again, the brilliant staff did exactly what they do brilliantly, while trying to salvage what little dignity was salvagable in that scenario.

One of the braver ones then entered the room nervously a little later- in a very shuffly way. Em, em, because you've had a fall,we have to put one of these on your wrist and above your bed.  My mutinous face told her everything she needed to know.  But because we knew you wouldn't like it, we coloured one in especially for you. :-)

I now think that many, if not all Row Barge regulars should have the option to sport one of these fetching items going forward....